Decisions can pile up one after another. Circumstances on top of that. Your calendar appointments on top of that. Planning and eating three balanced meals on top of that.
I picture all of the above like a huge pile of dirt that ends up being taller than I am. That's like over six feet of layers of dirt.
On some days you float from one decision to the next. No mound build up.
On another day it truly is a mound of dirt and you just don't have much clarity. You cannot get past the mound.
I don't know about you but if I'm not clear about things and I am questioning it and not getting an answer I begin to roll it around in my head and I don't do anything with the thoughts. When that happens I begin to compare myself saying; look at so and so they just float from one thing to the next. They must have a better connection with God. They make life seem so easy. Wow! Where is the joy? I must really be disappointing God. There must be something wrong with me. I'm weak. I'm sensitive.
I am being very vulnerable here. Like really honest. I am writing this because I really learned something from this kind of critical thinking and I believe there are many of you who do the same thing but won't admit it.
I stand before you honestly also because I think God has given me this opportunity to examine myself and speak to Him about my thoughts and then write about what I have learned. Not to create a formula for you but to create a connection between you and God so we can all grow.
I asked a friend why does it seem like things roll off of so and so's back so easy, they responded "Maybe the other person is suppressing their thoughts and feelings."
After hearing those words that resonated with me. When things resonate with me I go to God and ask him "Is this from you? Do you want me to explore the idea of suppressing my emotions and thoughts?"
Further consideration after praying:
Maybe I am the weak one. Maybe I am the willing one. The one who won't suppress my feelings but go to God and ask Him to help me go through my feelings and circumstances one by one. Let Him speak into them and help me to reconcile things. Get healthy and not stuff things down.
Here is the deal. God loves me. He says important things like I am the WAY the TRUTH the LIFE. Way= direction on His path.
Truth sets us free. We can be free indeed. Not entangled with things on earth but seated in the heavenlies with Jesus.
Life. God sets before us either life or death and says "You chose!" (free will).
Doesn't God say he likes the weak after all?
So okay I am weak. Good we got that cleared up and I think God is pretty happy about it.
If I look at everything I say and do as a challenge to love the way Jesus loves. I must remember I'm not perfect. When the opportunities of emotions and circumstances arise it creates lessons. This is progressive sanctification. My process. The most important lesson I can learn is God's extension of showing me His love and intimacy (our connection) that will get us to a place of overflowing. Overflowing love will express itself through me when I serve others. I am enabled to see and love others the way Jesus does.
When we introduce people to Christ and ask them if they want to understand what a personal relationship with Christ is to "connect" with Him. To begin to read about and listen to the good shepherd. Through the connection you will understand. You will build confidence. You will have courage to do things you never thought possible. You will feel whole again. Most importantly you will feel loved beyond measure. Ultimate love! Doubting causes us to be tossed to and fro. It's not a peaceful place. It takes faith. In fact Jesus said they know my voice.
"I can't hear from God" declares many Christians. Am I doing something wrong? Am I a weaker Christian? Does God think lesser of me? Cause I just have never hear from God. I heard a friend say with confidence "God told me to read Proverbs 2 or he told me to go to the doctor....."
Can this be possible?
This small whisper is possible. Ask God questions and journal for ten minutes what your head is thinking or saying. Be sensitive to the loving, caring voice of God. It is gentle. Ever so gentle. Never abrasive, demanding or guilting you into any feeling or action.
Try it! Your life will change. Be still. Sit, give it ten minutes. Start your timer on your phone. Seriously!
Everyday is an opportunity to say less; love more; pray more. Opportunity can be facing hardships, loneliness, sickness, decisions, tiredness. All make tolerance and love harder. But take heart. He's got this! #shinebright